Capers and olives and plays, oh my!

Oh my goodness, that was such a cheesy title. I'm sorry.

I've been doing more self-analysis. *cue collective groan from non-existent audience* Yup! I have decided that I am like a caper. Not a mystery story, but those little green things that my grandma puts on this chicken with lemon zest (so good). They are little and easy to look over, but when you put them in your mouth, the flavor is explosive! OK, that sounds really wrong. No, I don't explode when you put me in your mouth. But I do have a very explosive personality when unleashed. And, like capers, you either like it or you don't. Personally, I really like capers. They're like mini green olives, which I also love. I'm not discriminating against black olives though. I like them too.

Our show is tomorrow. And my optimism doesn't seem to have an off switch. As frustrated as people get with the show, I'm still like "Yay! It's gonna be so good!" Not quite like that, but you get the general idea.

On to a completely new note: AAAGGGH! I've got a persuasive speech due on Tuesday and I haven't done anything on it! If this was like any of the other speeches in the class, I would have no problem. Write it in a hour, put it on note cards and read with expression. Not hard. But I need sources for this one. 4 sources. I hate research. And my topic isn't as easy as I thought. On the day we were getting our topic approved I had seen this clip of radical Christians protesting at the funeral of a gay soldier. So what's my topic? "The negative view on Christians and how we can change it," *sigh* I think it'll be a good speech... If I can find any freaking resources!

And now, because I have that stupid thing looming over my head, I feel guilty when ever I have free time and I'm working on my book or reading for fun. I swear, it's like my poor characters are getting restless. (No, I'm not crazy... just eccentric)

Wow, I love the spell check on this blog. It's really cool.

Friends, a concert, and... Oh, just issues... sort of. This title is already too long, but now it's amusing me so I'll make it ridiuclous on purpose.

My last post resulted in mini chaos. Not really, but it was quite... odd. I read a blog posted in reply and it made me all angry as did a few other ones that I read. Since it was past 12 at night that's not a good thing. I tried to post an irritable response, but I wasn't a member of the blog system, so I was thwarted; a good thing I suppose. I was grumpy for a few days after that; I don't think anyone noticed because it was kind of subtle and when I say grumpy I mean just a bit miffed at a few little things. I wasn't even all that miffed. Was there a point in the above paragraph? Do I care? Not really. Anywho, that was fun.

I had a chorus concert today. It was very nice. But while I was up there, wondering if I would draw attention to myself if I melted (it was very hot), I began to think about myself. See, I have this really weird habit of monologing(sp?) to myself when nothing is going on. No, I don't think it means I'm crazy, I just read and write alot and my writing seeps into other aspect of my life.

Anyway, I began thinking about friends. Kind of. I started think about how I'm almost scared of people. (not scared, but you know what I mean). It's not like the other kids hated me in high school. They were just indifferent. I'm not complaining or anything, a bunch of it is me for not stepping up. But now I'm almost afraid to pop out of my shell because I'm scared of alienating the people who say "hi" to me (we're friends, see?) because I'm either too peppy or sarcastic (A contradiction, I know, read my profile). I worried about irritating people. I know I'm being paranoid, and if I stepped up, friends wouldn't be so few and far between. People probably think that I'm the indifferent one when I'm notm far from it. I'm just shy, I guess. Wow, when I got that "superlative" in HS, I thought it was completely wrong, but now I don't know. I don't want to be the quiet girl in the back of the room, I'm just afraid of pushing people away. That's a really weird paradox, I know.

With the exception of the last few posts, I tend not to talk about "deeper" things in my life. some people do, and that's fine. Blogs just aren't where I put my inner secrets or whatever. But there are some things I think it is good to let people in your head in about.

So what was to purpose of this blog post? To whine? To cry for others to reach out the hand of friendship? Or to simply put off the heap of homework piling up on me? Meditate on that. I'm not going to, but you can. Yes, I know that made little to no sense. I do that sometimes. ^_^

Out of the Norm Post

For me at least. I know most of these are pretty light, but this has been on my mind for a while.

Ever since I started college, it seems like I am surrounded by pessimists. Professors and other people look at me like I've got something wrong with me when I say that I believe in hope, light, and happiness. I don't see why an intelligent person can't have faith without being looked down upon. I don't shove my opinions and beliefs on others and I wish the pessimists out there would do the same. I'm sorry, I don't want to hear about how "silver linings don't exist" and how happy endings are foolish. Do you really like living like that? Its sad, it really is. But just because you feel like your existence means nothing, that doesn't mean mine can't. I mean, I've been talking to people who don't believe free will exists. And they will argue with me until we are both blue in the face. In the end, all I can say is that I like being the way I am. I like seeing the light in things. It's not always easy, but isn't it worth it? I don't want to let go. I'm going to hold on. I hope that my joy will spread to others, but I can't let others' depression leak into me. I'm not saying that I won't listen to your problems. I can't stop caring and I don't want to. All I'm saying is give light and God a chance. If you don't, that's your decision, but please don't try to bring me down.

Edit: Oh, and to the people who call "happy books" trash, I stole this quote from my friend Justin's myspace page:

"Make me laugh. Make me cry. Tell me my place in the world. Life me out of my skin and place me in another. Show me places I have never visited and carry me to the ends of time and space. Give my demons names and help me to confront them. Demonstrate for me possibilities I've never thought of and present me with heroes who will give me courage and hope. Ease my sorrows and increase my joy. Teach me compassion. Entertain and enchant and enlighten me.Tell me a story."-"The DC Comics Guide to Writing Comics, by Dennis O'Neil.

Why not?

According to the comments on my last post... No one reads my blog. Oh well. I don't feel pressured to post. I never did, but whatever. :p

So I miss my phone. I'm currently using my old one because my new (?) one fell on the floor and the screen is all white. It works as a good flashlight, and it makes and recieves calls but I can't use any other nifty features or look at my super awesome batman/my little pony picture. So I'm using my old one. Which really isn't that bad; I love the big, clear screen. But I've got some pics and contacts on the old phone that I can't get to because the screen is completely useless. Again, what can you do? Yes, I realize it is an inanimant object, but it was one that was very rarely away from me. Still think it's pathetic? Smash you're phone and see how you get along. Just kidding, that's not a good idea. ^_^

Other news, I got contacts and I can put them in without feeling like I'm going to pass out. Suprised? Me too. I'm very proud.

My story is coming along very nicely. John (who is no longer John, but now Liam) is free from my head to wander about on paper where he can yell and be morally grey to his heart's content.

So that was fun. I'm going to study for my humanities exam. Or sleep. That sounds like a good idea too. Later!

Hello friends. Before I begin today, I want you do something for me. Comment. You don't have to be registered to comment, just do it please so that I know if I need to tell people about my blog again and because I'm curious. that is all. Hardly a 5 page paper on Gothic literature that I really don't want to write, but have to before Tuesday. The paper is like a little cloud above my head. I know what you're thinking, just do the paper and get it over with. I'm afraid it's not that simple. Ok, it is, but I really don't feel like doing it. Gothic literature makes me fidgety in the first place. Analyzing it just adds to it. I don't wanna write about the freaking yellow wallpaper! I don't like it!

I presented a speech today. I think it went very well. I got a 95, so I guess it did go well. It was about anything I wanted, so I talked about the wonders of reading and writing.

Our show is in full swing rehersal and cast wise and it's going to be great. So come see, it'll be super fun! Yes, I did say super fun.

I have an eye apointment tomorrow. I want contacts. I was running to class ltike a dork today because I was running late and my lens popped out again. I'll have to get over my eyeball phobia, but I think it'll be worth it.

Writing is going nicely. I'm ready to introduce a new character. Everyone say hello to John. He's very special.

Well, I'm going to go whine about my paper a little more before I work on my story or watch TV, putting the dumb thing off till tomorrow. Later!

College, literature and other stuff.

Wow, it's been some time hasn't it? But that's the way it is with blogs. At least mine anyway.

So alot of people seem to think I have overloaded myself with 17 credits this semester. Yesterday I was talking to someone at work and when I said 17 they were like "I don't know what that is, but it's the most anyone has told me so far," Really? Right now I don't feel like it's that much. Maybe because I'm taking stuff that I enjoy and not calculus and chemistry. And 2 of the credits are small classes that don't have homework, chorus and musical theatre (so much fun!).

Speaking of musical theatre, we have decided to put on the play "Kiss Me Kate". In short, it's about a group of people putting on a version of Shakespear's "Taming of the Shrew". So it's sort of a play within a play. We don't know about parts yet, but I'll let you know when I find anything out.

Writing, I've got over 30 pages right now. That's what it was last time I looked, but I haven't in a while, so it's probably more.

I was a dork and bought the Heroes season 1 DVD. First show that I've ever done that with. It's just that awesome. The characters are the strong point.

Speaking of characters and such, my humanities teacher was talking about Cervantes (sp?) and she asked, "Is it good to read?" Everyone said yes. "Is it good to read trash like Dannielle Steele? No, It adles the mind," That kind of talk gets on my nerves, really, so I said that "Actually it's better than sitting in front of the TV. When you're picturing things in your mind it helps prevent Alzheimers," She told me that I had a point.

Anyway, I don't read Dannielle Steele, but I read Nora Roberts. And really, if you enjoy it and it makes you imagine, wonder or think, isn't that what it's about? Just because a work of fiction isn't reveared by critics or completely depressing doesn't mean it's trash. Why does everyone have to die in the end for it to be "good"? That's stupid. I like writing that gives me hope, makes me happy in the end. And isn't that what it's about? Bringing out a feeling, telling a story, making you feel for characters? I hate the opinion that "it's not real literature unless it's tragic,". Don't get me wrong, some tragedies are good. Hamlet, many other Shakespear tragedies. But I prefer looking for the light at the end and I don't think that makes me any less intelligent, or any less of a reader or a writer. You can have well rounded, fully developed characters that get to live happily in the end. Now, I don't think that the entire story should be bunnies and rainbows, there has to be conflict, I'm talking about the ending. Does this make sense? Look at Jane Austen. She has complex characters, and they mostly end well. Why don't we see work like this praised anymore? Of course, there aren't alot of Jane Austen's out there, but people get on my nerves when the discredit types of literature when they brush it off because it doesn't end in despair. Well, that's my rant. Heroes comes on the 24th and I need to go to work. Talk to you later!

Movie review time!

First movie review on this blog! Yaaaaaaay! Anyway.

Saw Hairspray last night and I LOVED it! I smiled the whole time. John Travolta was awesome and I want to hug him. Everyone else was amazing as well. I know alot of people my age hate Zac Efron because he's like the new "it" boy when it comes to tweens and teens, but I love him. There. I said it. He was great and has a future in musicals. It was funny seeing Brittany Snow in a mean girl role, she's usually the nice girl. Elija Kelly (sp?) Wow. I wanna go to the 60s where detention was sexy (jk, sorta). Anyway, Nikki Blonski, the lead was fabulous. I loved her. She has a great voice and is so funny! Michelle Phifer and Queen Latifa were great too! And Christopher Walking... He still creeps me out a little after watching the Headless Horsemen and the Rundown, but I'm warming up to him after this, Wedding Crashers and the cowbell skit on SNL (yes, I realize it is old). I still think he wears lipstick. Anyway, go see the movie, it was great, for lack of a better word.


Oh, speaking of reviews, Harry Potter and the Deathley Hallows was great. It gets mixed reviews with some of my friends, but I really liked it.

Writing, Neil, Harry, Wal-Mart, Batman, and My Little Pony: In one Action Packed Post!

It's around time for a new post. Let's see. I last wrote about my wisdom teeth, right? Yeah, that sucked, but it's over. The swelling has finally gone completely away (took long enough)and I don't have to use the syringe(sp?) to flush out the holes any more.

So I went to NC a few weeks ago. I went rafting and hiking. Rafting is fun, but no matter what season it is, the water is always colder than belief. I'm honestly suprised my foot didn't fall off. Once the numbness set in though, it wasn't so bad. Hiking was great. I had more stamina than I thought. Hiking gives you a sort of adventurey feel, even if you are on a trail.

Speaking of adventure, I started writing a new story up there. I'm not very far, but I'm actually kind of excited about it. I've had the general idea for awhile, but it never really fleshed out. And then a few days ago, I had this massive idea! I'm so happy with it! Maybe I'll post the intro to what I have here. Maybe I wont. I don't know.

On a dorky note, I'm so ready for the last Harry Potter book! Yay! You know, JKR has really opened a lot of doors. She's kind of expanded the market for Fantasy novel that can be enjoyed by anyone. I'm not saying that she's the first to have written something like that, but it's gotten more people interested in the genre. Lately I've been inding more books in my genre. They're not right out in the open, but once you know where to look, they're everywhere! I've just discovered another auther, Neil Gaimen(sp?). I haven't read him yet, but it's on the list after Harry Potter 7 and this Nora Roberts book that I'm reading right now. He does the different worlds type thing and seems to have a satiricle style, sort of like William Goldman's (Princess Bride: My favorite book).

Going in a completely random direction, up in NC, Super Wal-mart up is the closest store around. Just don't buy the meat. We were looking at it and there was a little notice on it. It said 8% solution. Sorry, but I'm not buying something that has any percentage of mystery solution. Who knows what it is? That and the meat just looked weird.

I saw a sign outside of a little NC shop that said "No photography please," Oops. I guess that is a real rule. Too bad I took a picture before I saw it. If I could figure out how to put pics from my cell phone on here I would do it, because it an awesome picture. The store had this section of 5 dollar ornaments. There was this really cool Batman one and this pink My Little Pony one. They were proportionate in size, so I found a little table and posed them. Batman was a warior wielding a mighty bowstaff atop his noble pink steed. It was glorious. I'm serious. That picture is now my wallpaper. Yes, I have an illegal picture as my cell phone wall paper. I ended up buying the batman figure, but I was too cheap to splurge for My Little Pony. Looking back, I greatly regret it. Next time I go up there I'm going to find that store and unite my little justice duo.

I got my oil changed for the firrst time today. It was fun. Yes, fun. I got a free car wash and they held the door open and closed it for me when I got in. And they waved at me as I drove off, like I was Dorothy leaving Oz. It was very nice. Grand Prix is a magical place.

If you read that entire post, congrats and thank you. I enjoyed it. Hopefuly I'll still have readers when I next update. ^_^

*sigh*

Got my wisdom teeth pulled yester day, all four. I was nervous to begin with, and it didn't get better when I had to sit and watch a video on risks for the procedure. "And of course, in some rare cases, the sedative is fatal," says the man with the glasses and smile.

I knew the doctor, he goes to my church. He's really nice, so that helped a little.

While I was waitting for the doctor to come into the actual surgery room, the assistant hooked me up to a little IV, but didn't put any drugs in it yet. By that time they had also given me some oxygen tubes for my nose, so I got to lay around for some time not even being able to figit properly. The assistant helped though. Instead of just telling me to chill out, she got me talking about college and what I wanted to do in life. It actually worked as pretty good distraction.

Once the doctor came back, they started squirting the drugs into the IV. I had a heart thing stuck to my back so they got to watch the heart changes as I went to sleep. The wall in front of me was painted like a rainforest. Right when he said "right on time," the palm trees started to move up and down. I watched for I don't know how long before I fell asleep. I don't remember much afterward, but now I look like a chipmunck and that in itself is making me nuts. Add that to having to rinse my mouth with salt water after I eat anything. I can't even spit like a normal person. Or move my jaw much. Gaaah! This is annoying! I like cinnimin apple sauce, but I never realized how much I like chewing my food!!

Graduation

So I graduated on Monday. It's really weird to think I won't be going back to the high school as a student. I felt the same way about elementery and middle school, so I'm sure it won't be weird for too long.

It wasn't nearly as long as I had thought it would be. The names were a little out of order, so it made it a little harder to count down and get excited about it being over. When I got up there, my mind kind of went blank. I don't know why, it's not like a really had to do anything. But knowing that my family and friends were cheering for me felt really good.

Later, waiting for everyone else to graduate, I let myself look around. There was this guy with a camera on the side. I gave a little smile because that's what I do when I make eye contact with people. He started taking pictures. So I continued to sit and smile. When he was finished, he walked over to our row. "I'm from the newspaper, can I get your names," The awkward thing was, he wasn't talking to me, but the three people next to me. I laughed, because, you know, it was funny.

So now Monday is past and I have my diploma. It's right here, a little symbol of my grade school career.

And, that's really it. So... Anyone see the Heroes finale?

Customer service for idiots

The following is sort of reused from an email that I wrote to my cousin today, so excuse the semi email language and lack of eloquence.

We saw these weird merpeople figures in a store at john's pass when my Opa was here. We were walking and my sister and I saw this merman with a martini and thought it was funny so we took a picture with my cell phone. My cousin is a collector, so we decided to send it to her for laughs (she mostly likes the classic mermaids). Then we decided to go inside and look around. There was this whole mermaid display , so we took another pic. Then my sister looked up and saw this HUGE gold merman. It was really cool looking, (a little more classic looking than the others) I said "Woah, take a picture of that one!" And she was about to get it when the store woman came up and said "You know, it's not store policy to let customers take pictures of the merchandise," Opa was there so he said, "Yes, but they're just taking a picture to send to someone who actually collects mermaid figures,"
"But you can't. It's the owner's rule," It almost sounds resonable when it's typed out but, it was the tone. Then Opa says something and walks away but my sister and I stay to look at the rest of the figures. Right behind me the woman says to another cashier: "I've never taken a picture in a store. Its like a museum, you just don't do it," Kelsey and I stopped looking and left the store. I mean come on. We were right there. Do they not have any common sense? You don't insult potential customers, that's customer service for idiots. What if we were sending it to a person who was going to buy a bunch of stuff? We weren't, but it's the point. Right. that's it for that post, the first in a series of weird anticdotes as of late.

Writing, time, and bookshelves

So I've been a little stuck with my writing. I really want to start something new, but I don't know what. I've tried sitting and typing whatever comes to mind, but that didn't tun out too well. I've got a bunch of ideas, but I'm not sure about them. They're okay, but I don't know if anyone else would enjoy them. I was talking to a few people recently and they said to keep my audience in mind. Then it hit me. I have to have a target audience. I don't stick to a specific genre. I go almost everywhere. Is there an everywhere section in the bookstore? I want to say I'm writing for people like me, but how many people like the same things I do? When I put it that way, it sounds like a stupid question...

Anyway, a couple of ideas I've been toying with have to do with traveling to different worlds. but when I think of that, I think of the science fiction section. And I don't think it fits there. A bunch of the stuff there is kind of dark and creepy and its hard to find the actualy treasures in that section. They need to make a seperate section for fantasy, not lump it in with sci-fi.

I'm reading Outlander right now. It's got time travel in it, but that's totaly different than world traveling. I don't mind reading about time travel, but I could never write about it. There's too many holes in all of the time-traveling theories and I'd end up obsessing over those holes. You know the show Heroes? They had a 5 years in the future episode and even that confused me for a little bit. Ever heard of the Steven King book/ movie the langaliers? Its about these people who fall asleep on an airplane and somehow go through a rip into the past. Turns out the past is empty. Its happened and over and there's nothing anyone can do about it. So they're alone in time. So what happens to the past? The fuzzy black things eat it. It's gone. So now the people have to get back to reality and stop the crazy paper-ripping-guy from killing people. But that's not the point. The point is, it's easier to think that the past has happened and there's nothing you can do about it. It's not as creative, but it's less of a headache. And the future? It hasn't happened yet and we haven't made the choices yet. That's my time theory.

Anyway, if anyone reads this, let me know what you think about my fantasy genre dilema.

This is my new blog. I've wanted to start a new one for awhile, but I didn't think I had the time. Turns out, creating the blog was easier than creating a myspace/livejournal. Anyway, now that I have it, I have to figure out what to do with it. For awhile I really wanted to do a video blog. The biggest problem with that is I don't know how. yeah, I know I could figure it out, but I'm not sure I feel like it.

Vlog or blog, I still have to figure out what to do with it. I'm not sure I want to do another plain journal. That's what lj's for. I want a popular blog! One that people read! Again, easier said than done. I'll work on it.

Brand new blog! More to come.